white is not surrender, despite what you've been told.

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying, no amount of whiskey, no amount of wine, no nothing else will do, i've gotta have you.

Last.fm makes me happy.

Carved pumpkins with the flatmates tonight--third year running Amy and I have done this. A Sarah Lawrence tradition, now. "Even in thirty years," she said. "We'll still do this." It was cute. More flatmate bonding. My mother sent me Halloween decorations last year--a taste of home, from the years Justin, my mother and I would go all out decorating. Cars and passerby would stop on the street to take pictures. We turned our front lawn into a graveyard, hung ghosts from the trees, littered the lawn with skeleton bones, laced spiderweb over our railings, painted pumpkins on the steps. When I got a bit older, Roo and the girls would come and help. I remember freezing outside in hoodies and jeans, that leaf-burning smell in the air. It always seemed like it was cloudy. Perfect New Englandness.


Freshman year at Sarah Lawrence, my wonderful neighbor had sent me a care package of Halloween candy and garlands and the like. Marty, Amy, Eunice & I descended on the Gilbert kitchen--a term I use rather loosely--with the pumpkins we had procured, and dived into them with steak knives, pop music blaring in the background. We stuck them on the windowsills facing the North Lawn, with flashlights inside, until they finally rotted a few weeks later and the cleaning ladies got rid of them. I dressed up as Snow White that year, because that was my nickname anyway. The pale, pale skin, and my long black hair almost down to my waist. Wednesday Addams was Marty's other favorite nickname for me, but Snow White made the better costume. Sara, Victoria & I went trick or treating through Bronxville. Last year, Amy came over to AC 12, cooked a fantastic dinner, and we carved a pumpkin into a squirrel. It was amazing. AC 12 in general was pretty fabulous, but that night was especially good. We went trick or treating again last year--me, Amy, Joanna, Eunice at the end. The memories are so clear, but right now they feel like a different world.


Friday Amy & I will go on a ghost tour of Oxford, then hit up a pub crawl. The Iffley flats are having their own Halloween house party Saturday night which we'll all go to. I think I'll end up going as some Moulin Rouge type thing. Ransack my closet for my best corset, my petticoat skirt I always get compliments on. Something simple like that.


Went to the Bodleian to work today with Alex. Sometimes I really can't believe this is where I go to school, these are the places I get to study in. It just doesn't get old. And there's so much to see & do. None of us have even scratched the surface.